Vacation Wisdom Applied to Coaching

In April, I visited the Netherlands. We explored Amsterdam (which is absolutely delightful!), but also Haarlem, Leiden, and Delft. Travel allows you to step away from the trenches and appreciate the broader perspective. I came away from this trip with three insights that I take with me into coaching.

Amsterdam is just such a cute city!

1) I need structure! Consistent scheduling is crucial for students--and definitely for me as well.

Vacations make me a little bit stressed because of the disruption to my sessions with students. Scheduling disruptions are inevitable, of course. I am so grateful for the mutual understanding, or grace if you will, between parents and myself regarding this. We do our best to meet consistently, because that produces the best results.

For my vacation, I must schedule one fun thing a day to aim myself towards. I'll make a map of the neighborhood we'll be in, and then based on where we are for that one scheduled activity, I'll come up with a list of other options to check out if we like while we're in the area.

My epiphany: Like most children, I thrive on a consist schedule. When I began coaching, having sessions scheduled at all times of the day scrambled my brain. I had to create firm teaching slots in my afternoons to help tame the chaos.

But the year before last, I got a side-hustle that I love. Yet it's gradually been creating the same scheduling chaos that I'd been trying to avoid earlier. I was imposing the very thing I disliked onto others. Yes to great travel vacations, but alas, I realized once I was looking back on my life from a distance that the side-hustle has to go.

2) A Bit of Rambling Creates Magic.

I'm all about researching a place in advance when traveling.

However, my travel companion thrives on wandering aimlessly. The reason we have such a great time on trips is because we combine both approaches.

I could share a dozen examples of unexpected delight: rambles that brought us to a perfect outdoor cafe on a canal during golden hour. Happening upon a gardening farmer's market while taking a whimsical short cut between the canals. Discovering a dark four hundred year old distillery nestled near the corner of a busy shopping area and camping out eating bitterballen. (Bitterballen is so good!) Coming upon a shop that only sells pepernoten--these amazing little round Dutch cookies and diving in to sample all the varieties.

I take the same approach in teaching. When engaging with teenagers, some of the most valuable discoveries and key insights emerge from random deep dives conversationally. It's worth it once in a while to wander in conversation. In these moments, teens aren't just acquiring knowledge, they're practicing intellectual engagement. To me, that's magic.

3) Don't Worrying About Things Beyond Our Control--Instead, Focus on Preparation.

I prepare for my trips for months. I research. I plan. I dream. I consult with travel gurus. Yet I also expect the unexpected when travelling--such as inconvienent delays. The result: I am a very relaxed traveler. I couldn't even remember anything annoying or frustrating about the trip to the Netherlands. (I went back and checked my journal but they were teensy and minor.) Resiliance is key!

Not everyone is like this. They fret.

Working with the talented and gifted, I direct our focus on getting down to work day by day instead of focussing on talent. I support learners who apply for exciting chances. If you apply for a program, or a special opportunity my philosophy is to give yourself gold star just for trying. The world has lots of goodie bags scattered throughout it. Those who keep putting their hand in the bags logically haul out prizes more consistently than those who don't try. ***

We can't control getting accepted into this or winning that, but we can control being prepared and building our skill stacks. If you don't get accepted, if the camp is already rull, and it's not going to work out, well there's a next time, or another alternative--we'll be just fine. Resiliance is key! Above all don't take not being chosen personally. This approach is great for confidence, and good for a parent's blood pressure. :)

Does your child need consistency, a chance to explore? Do they need a low pressure, but enthusiastic environment? If you think you need my help, please reach out with your questions. I'm always happy and grateful to meet parents and learn about their hopes and concerns. :) :) :)

As always, if you or someone you’re raising is interested in writing a big project, you can let me know in the contact form and we can chat about you/your learner and the project to see if I can help.

*** I do want to acknowledge that there are so many factors of race, class, and gender that can affect who has the time and energy to seek out these extra goodies, who has access to them, and how the granting bodies may be afflicted with problematic attitudes. I totally get that for some of us the world is definitely not a level playing field.